Archive for April, 2011

WTF

Posted in Rant with tags on April 30, 2011 by eleenpor

I don’t understand.

Folks get excited, jump up, raise their hands and lay claim on all things great, chic or in-vogue. Then when it comes to committing oneself to the claims, suddenly they  look away. Twiddle their fingers. Whistle to themselves. Fiddle with their iPhones. Anything but look us in the eye and commit to doing it.

Call me intolerant but I am seriously annoyed.

If you cannot commit to something, why bother laying claims on it in the first place? Isn’t it a waste of your breath and a hit to your own credibility?

Really.

  • If you are too lazy to exercise, stop complaining that you are fat.
  • If you can’t be arsed to work hard, stop going on about needing more money.
  • If you don’t bother to check out the classifieds, stop bitching about your boss.
  • If you don’t believe in fighting for what you want in Life, stop whinging about being short-changed.

I mean, WTF?

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Short message

Posted in Personal with tags on April 29, 2011 by eleenpor

Got your message last weekend.

I know you care and you have only the best of intentions. I also know that you are one of those few human beings in this world who truly knows me inside out.

Amongst many things, you wrote this :

“…We all want life to be nicely cut-and-dried. I know you view the world through the glasses of strong principles, where everything that should be said and done, should be said and done.

But sometimes, it is not so easy. While we may want to believe and live it, the fact is that some choices are not ours to make. Those choices that we can and should make, we would do well to. But life is such that we do not always have that choice. Never forget that there are the strong and there are the weak; you may be able to break free from shackles because you are strong, but do not forget that not everyone is born with your strength…”

I hear you. And I do not disagree with you.

I am however, struggling to explain my thoughts and my feelings to you. Maybe it’s the distance. Maybe it’s the timing. Maybe it’s the fact that I am just really tired from battling with a chauvinistic pig.

One day, I hope to have the time and opportunity to share with you the complexities of it all.

For now, just understand that the decision I made was not easy but hey, who says Life is all about making easy decisions. You of all folks should know that.

Talk to you soon (or whenever we have a chance to talk).

Crisis!

Posted in Rant with tags on April 28, 2011 by eleenpor

Eyes glaring at the screen,
Eyebrows furrowed,
I waited for the skies to open and swallow me up…

Then, suddenly out of nowhere, he walked up and said
“You seem so stressed. Here’s a little something to sweeten the rest of your afternoon!”

Then off he sauntered, whistling softly to himself.

What else could I do but smile and remind myself that things can’t be so bad after all. There should be a solution somewhere, somehow.

I just need to open up my mind and look outside of the box.

Dream Job

Posted in People with tags , on April 25, 2011 by eleenpor

Bumped into this dude in the train this morning and couldn’t resist snapping a picture.

He’s either super late to his office or he’s doing a splendid ‘job’ advertising for Wendy’s.

Thanks for the laugh, Wong-LeeHome lookalike. You sure picked up my Monday morn.

🙂

Is the price worth it?

Posted in Dedication with tags on April 20, 2011 by eleenpor

You claim to hurt. You claim to love. You claim to care.

But what do you do about it? Do you really think that all you have done so far helps in any way?
Newsflash : They don’t.

Why?
Because all your actions and deeds are no longer yours to make. Even your thoughts are no longer yours! Something as simple as answering Nature’s call is scrutinized and monitored, right to the door. Everyone wonders how you take a breath with a noose wrapped  so tight. We waited for the other shoe to drop. It never did. I don’t think it ever will.

Looks like you’ve forgotten the important lesson of not sweeping shit under the carpet. They smell after awhile. And maggots grow out of it. After that, it eats at all that we hold dear.  

So, yeah.

I had to do what I had to do because I am tired of watching you lose all that we believe in. I had to say what I had to say because I am held back from saying what I really wanted to say. I had to finish what I had to finish because I am done being disappointed – over and over again.

Remember what I said before about how Time and Tide waiting for no man? People move on. Things move on. Life goes on.

And so shall I.

P/S : For your sake, I really hope that you don’t forget the high prices you had to pay in the past (remember how you had to pay with a life?!?) And the price of us that you are paying now – is worth it.

Peranakan TLC

Posted in Dedication, Food with tags , on April 19, 2011 by eleenpor

Received a nice surprise yesterday.

This was waiting for me at the office, wrapped in double layer of ziplock bags (for a *very* good reason).

I could feel and taste the TLC with every single spoonful. Yumz!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, sayang. Now I know what you mean when you said there is no Peranakan resto on this island that can please you and your family.

It’s pretty impossible when your own standards are so darn high.
🙂

Good luck in you-know-what. You can definitely count on my support (I couldn’t stay away even if I tried!)

P/S – Those of you who are curious to know what this is, check out my FB pix.

The end of us

Posted in Dedication with tags on April 15, 2011 by eleenpor

He gave you 6 months. I asked him why. He said “Because I don’t believe she will take that kinda shit for more than 6 months. She’s stronger than that”. Although unsure, I really wished my man was right.

Boy, was he dead wrong.

You took the shit. All of it. And patiently sat there as more was dished out to you.

I told you I was disappointed in you. I still am. Because you told me how strong you have grown. How much you have learnt. How you’d not make the same mistakes.  Have you forgotten about those claims? I haven’t.

I tell myself to stop caring. To stop remembering. To stop loving. And failed miserably, I did.

Maybe one day I will stop all that. And when that day rolls along, please remember what you have done to us. I will always remember what you have done to us. Some day, I may eventually forgive.

But I will never forget.